How I’d Run Musk’s Coup

Protesters storm the Capitol on Jan. 6. — John Minchillo/AP

So, I was chatting with some folks about the, uh, “recent actions” by Musk and his team in DC right now.

Most notably, we were discussing the fact that Elon Musk now almost certainly has any data you’ve ever given the US Federal Government. How?

Well, Musk’s team — which has NOT been confirmed, vetted, or approved to do any of this — has full access to the US Treasury now and is primed to stop payments however they want.

Anyway, I mentioned I was in IT as a SysAdmin/Network Admin/Network Security dude and it got me thinking: how would I compromise the US Government if I was in Musk’s position?

So, here we go.

I’ll preface this by saying that I don’t know what the actual end goal is here. However, if it follows other authoritarian takeovers, it’ll be used to identify dissidents, smother opposition, and, if that fails, a way to incarcerate or “deport undesirables.”

For the Nazis, “deport undesirables” turned into “slaughter anyone against us.” Historically, that’s generally what happens with this type of data gathering.

Now you’re shitting yourself a little bit, here we go:

Step 1: Get access to systems.

This one is simple and Musk already has it through a sketchy Executive Order and the lack of enforcement of existing law by security guards and law enforcement.

NOTE: This is typically the hardest part and it’s already done.

Step 2: Lock everyone out except people I approve.

Well, not much to elaborate on this one since Musk already did this. The short version is: find all the keys to the data and remove all of them except the ones I control and distribute.

Step 3: Get team authorized and moving.

Given the potentially restricted timeline if there is opposition, set up a 24-hour schedule and house my team right next to the servers holding the data I need.

Musk has already done this — the team was in place on Friday and had the entire weekend to get into

Step 4: Download everything.

Now, this may vary now. Eight years ago, I’d grab all data and offload it to another location. The easiest way to do this is to run large reports on huge databases and export them into easily accessible data.

Nowadays, that may just mean exporting everything as a single, massive JSON file that’s compressed, but still easily searchable by a companion AI tool. This likely reduces file sizes to fit on external hard drives despite original data being too large to move.

Some of these reports may take days to run. However, once they’re done, it’s as simple as copy/paste.

Step 5: Repeat on all departments.

Do the same thing with every area that’s important. I’d say the Office of Personnel Management and the US Treasury are a decent start, but I’m betting USAID was the first to get output, then searched by these AI assistants they’re no doubt using.

Step 6: Cause Chaos To Deflect Attention

This can run concurrently with steps 2–5, but I think that Musk’s tweets recently are part of this, though a rather late stage flub, in my opinion.

Musk’s current Twitter feed is filled with him calling politicians corrupt while actively claiming to have deleted entire organizations already.

This is a mistake if you’re trying to accomplish the goal of gathering information.

Now, that means one of two things have happened if I were him:

1. Elon Musk’s ego couldn’t be constrained any longer and he needed to rub our faces in his success at a technological coup d’etat.

Or…

Step 7: Success!

… he already has everything.

If I had gathered everything I needed and moved it offsite for my personal use. AND I felt like I was untouchable because, say, I’m the richest man on the planet, I may also say stuff like: “Yes.” in response to a person calling for the destruction of the government.

Like… I’d link the tweets, but there are so many and he’s so blatant about it now, you might as well just go try reading his shit on your own. The dude is tripped out on Ketamine at all hours of the day and now he has control of all the money in the country.

Step 8: ???

This is the part where we get into the Bad Stuff.

They claim they’re cutting “governmental corruption.” They’re doing that by eliminating all foreign aid (managed by the USAID Department), calling for the elimination of the Department of Education (which will include Student Financial Aid as well as the establishment of educational standards), and that’s just the stuff they jumped on in the past few days.

Based on the departments they’ve attacked, here’s what I expect to happen next if I was in Musk’s shoes, had no morals, no ethics, and no empathy.

1. I’d take the citizenship data I now have, attach an AI to it, and have that AI give me a list of all potential dissidents in this Brave New World I’m creating. This world, based on their actions, is white, cisgender, heterosexual, and male.
2. I’d automatically categorize any non-white, non-landowning, non-male people into a second bucket. I’d call this the “Other” category.
3. I’d take the “white, cis-het, male” pile and run a deep search on them using any and all data, then, with the help of a selection of AI assistants, put together a list of potential “race traitors” to be monitored for dissident behavior.
4. From the “Other” pile, I’d have my AIs search for those who have shown rampant support for my policies and move them into a “potential allies” group. Additionally, I’d move every high profile “Other” into a special category to be monitored and watched. This would be flagged as High Priority.
5. Once I have my buckets ready — and I’ve verified the data is all encompassing and intact — delete the source data. Wipe all backups.
   I now own the entirety of US Government data, no matter how sensitive.
6. I’d bring them back to my “boss” or whomever will be executing action against these people and offer access. Yes. That’s right: OFFER.
7. This is the hardest step other than gaining initial access. Since I now have the data the “boss” needs and they have no more access to that data, they should be forced to bargain with me. If I did my job well enough, that means I get whatever I want in exchange for access to that data; ideally through a proxy of some sort. This could be an AI interface to query or a single portal.
   But data is now controlled — and it’s controlled by me.

What Happens Then?

Well…

Whatever I want to happen. Information is power and I have it all.

What the Fuck Can We Do?

All is not lost… yet.

But we are VERY close. Our best chance at stopping this is, unfortunately, the Democratic Party.

Why unfortunately? Because those in charge — specifically Senator Schumer and Representative Jeffries — seem to have put their heads in the sand and think that they can wait this out.

We can’t. And that means we have to do phone calls, in person meetings, and be prepared to march and act when the call comes.

I am currently calling my Senators at both their Washington and Albany numbers every day. When I get to voicemail, I leave a message with my Name, Number, and location so they know I’m a constituent.

Then I tell them what I need them to do:

1. Get Musk out of our governmental data.
2. Do not confirm ANY appointments — most importantly, keep Russell Vought out of any federal role again. He is the architect of Project 2025 and is up for the Director of the Office of Personnel Management, a role he had in 2020 when they were still trying to work within the bounds of government. That is not the case now. Read more about him here.
3. Roadblock everything. Hold up every action, whether through filibuster, legal action, or whatever it takes to grind Trump’s attempt to destroy our democratic government to a halt.
4. DO NOT WORK WITH REPUBLICANS UNTIL THEY STOP ENDORSING AND SUPPORTING THESE ILLEGAL ACTIONS. Sorry for yelling. But Republicans taught us how to do it so they could sneak this bullshit onto us — we need to give it back in force. No compromise, no action. The government shuts down until they back down on forcing us into Project 2025.

Those last two are basically the same, but they’re important and I mention them each phone call.

We can do something. We can stop this now.

But we have to put in some work… or we won’t recognize the United States of America in a couple months.

All is not lost if we act NOW.

This far. No farther.

Resources:

NOTE: Put their numbers in your phone. Try putting them under P for Politician, like:

Politician Senator Schumer
Washington Phone: (202) 224–6542
Albany Phone: (518) 431–4070

Call the Washington offices as well as the home offices of these reps.

US Senate Switchboard Number to Find Your Senator:
(202) 224–3121

US Representative Lookup:
https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative